Monday, December 20, 2010

Going Solo

I leave for Israel the day after tomorrow and the timing could not be more ideal. I am going to my brother's wedding, sans les enfants et sans le Hub! I don't have the imagination to even wonder what this will be like, the longest I've been away from them was for 2 nights. I've arranged for my FIL and their babysitter to help out when Hub is at work. I've stashed a few homecooked meals in the freezer. I've stocked up on snacks and baked a jar full of oatmeal cookies. I'll make lists and schedules and a copy of my key. I'll leave them each a note and small gifts on their beds. I think I'll miss them, but I'm not sure. It's been a tenuous few weeks, their mouths are overused and their attitudes are overdeveloped. Their bickering and the surly undercurrent that swirls through the house is tough to take. Sometimes I feel like all they want is a Rent-a-Mom: someone to cook for them, ferry them around, help them with their homework. Anyone will do as long as their only reason for existing is to take care of them and their many needs. Lately Hub has me feeling like a 1950's housewife. It's true I've recently gotten into "Mad Men", and even though Don Draper is a steaming hot dish of a man, I think I'd poison the guy after a while. So, in short, I'm about ready to sprint to the airport without even a backwards glance.
But on the other hand, a week without them seems like a very long time. A week of being ten thousand miles away feels almost impossible. A week devoid of planning meals, food shopping, cooking, and then cleaning up the mess....well, that just seems like a nice slice of chilled time.
It has been a bit of a drag lately, but maybe it's not all their fault. OK, so I have a case of the blues, there's no getting around it. I've been a little low for a few weeks now, but it's nothing that a little sun and a little sleep can't redress. This trip will be like hitting the reset button on the treadmill that I feel like I've been dragging myself on. It will be good to spend some time with my Mom and Dad and three brothers. It will be good to flee the kitchen for a few days. It will be good to miss Hub and the kids. I think that after a few days away I will begin to crave them- like someone on a diet who misses her favorite sweets.

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